A Song... Sang by Nick Lachey... "What's Left Of Me."

Watched my life pass me by
in the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time
are becoming clearer I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes
yeah

'cause I want you
and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
like a hunger
like a burning
to find the place I've never been
now I'm broken
and I'm fading
I'm half the man I thought I would be
You can have
What's left of me

I've been dying inside
Little by little
Nowhere to go
But goin' out of my mind
In endless cirlcles
runnin' from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still

'cause I want you
and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
like a hunger
like a burning
to find the place I've never been
now I'm broken
and I'm fading
I'm half the man I thought I would be
You can have
What's left of me

Falling faster
Barely breathing
Give me somethin' to believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head

Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again

'cause I want you
and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
like a hunger
like a burning
to find the place I've never been
now I'm broken
and I'm fading
I'm half the man I thought I would be
You can have
All that's left
Yeah, yeah, yeah
What's left of me

I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm runnin' in circles all the time
Can you take what's left
Can you take what's left
Can you take what's left
Of me
Can you take what's left
Can you take what's left
Can you take what's left
Take what's left of me


H.Ming (-_-)

hihi everyone... to all my frens... long time no see le...!!(to those who didn't meet me recently or before my ops till now...) how are u...?! if u see this... sms me how u doing ya? will be looking forward to it...

i can't go clubbing for now... sorry guys... haven't recover much yet... hahaha... but... u can ask me out for lunch or dinner also can... =p buah hahaha....

last week... i received a very nice and sweet postcard frm my xiaomei... MeiHui... thanks for the card... it's very nice... very nice handwriting...( i didn't knw it till now... haha... sorry!!!) it really brightens up my day... whenever i see it... i can almost see it everyday lehz... don't play play... once wake up can see it liao... confirm cum chopz... hahaha....

my MC extended liao... till 30 sept... haha... everyday stay @ home... playing PS2... can't go out for long period... si bei sianz... means.... NO WIndOw SHopPing ~!!!! haiz...!! can't shop nvm... but can't play ball lehz... knn....!!! mentally... f**king depress now... can't even go swimming... haiz... si bei jiatlat lehz... wad to do sia... tell me~!!!! tell me ~!!!!!!! -.-" " "

mentally depress....
Praying for fast recovery....
H.Ming (-_-)

yo yo yo... i'm back again ~ buah hahaha.... Blog changed to a new skin... all thanks to my 80% brother... EN NinG....!!! THank U So MUCH ~!!!!

as for my back condition... i finally can start physio next monday le... man... juz can't wait ~!! juz can't to afford to waste anymore time doing nothing... i wanna get back to court again... to play... and fight together wif my frens on the court... it's a long time since i got the feeling of playing in a competition.... really miss the athmosphere... si bei suang... really miss playing wif my frens @ ytcc.... and my other mates too... hope can get back to court soon...!!

have alot of thinking recently... as i dun wanna commit for tagawa anymore... reasons?? no sense of belonging... it's not like it use to be... since after my op... deciding... if i can start all over again... hoping to play the S'pore Opens next yr... or accompany training in one of the clubs till i feel i'm fit again to represent the club to play in the next coming competition... still can't decide which club to go too... -.-" really need some advice to guide me through... haiz... i need a fresh start... but juz can't decide which path to move on....

Praying for Fast Recovery...
H.Ming (-__-)

i'm back blogging again~ my back's doing fine... juz feel some pain after sitting/standing for a long period... doctor says juz try to move abit more.... i've taken out the plaster pasted on my back... wau... very the gross nehz... haha...

for the past few days, watching the philps singapore cup 2006... seeing the pros playing on court... i can feel the inspiration... motivation... to play basketball again... seeing them play... i can feel tat... there's nothing impossible... even though we can't reach their standard... it doesn't matter... it's the passion tat keeps them moving on... and keep us moving on to the goals we wanna achieve... 9mths more... i wish to heal up fast... and get back to court.. and once more... fight to achieve the objectives i wan... juz can't wait to play wif the ppl i knw again... and playing against them too... they are the ones tat keeps my basketball passion alive till now...WAIT FOR ME guys...!! i'm rite behind...!! i'll catch up...!!!

my frens(Roy, Audrey, Xiuhan) and i went to Mount Faber on Sunday nite after watching the game, and eating wif kaili and fanny.... very nice scenery... cooling... and funny too.... haha... taking pics by the mer-lion... wah hahahaha!!! making funny expression @ other places... super fun... haha... hope we can do tat again.... i'll upload the pics here guys... and frenster also... haha...!! send me the rest ok?? thanks...!!! and Here We Go~!!!

hi guys... back from hospital... since last friday afternoon.... operation's a success... the rest will be up to me... haha... sorry for the late posting... juz tat... don't feel like blogging for the moment cause... my movement is very very limited... currently on MC till 25th August... gonna extend or not... depends on Doctor le...

wanna thank the ppl who came down to visit me and accompany me for the past last week.... my family and relatives... who came almost everyday... Uncle Joe... thank u for the presents... Uncle See Peng... thank u for coming... Ppl from Church Of Praise... thank u~! for praying for me... and also... wanna thank... Ronglie, my Safsa Captain for coming down... Kaili, Steven from Siglap... thanks for coming down.... Roy, Colin and Mars... thank u for coming down... and Jenny and Alice ~! the twin sisters... haha... thank u for coming down... Jason and family... thank u....!

Also... wanna thank my frens who sms me... the recovering greetings... thank u so so much...!

i maybe out for bball action for the moment... but i'll be back... wif a loud bang... wait for me ya ?!

wanna say sorry to my dearest younger "sis"... shihui... sorry for keeping from u... maybe till now u still duno la... haha... maybe when u see this... gif me a call? i'll let u knw my status? haha... don't be angry k? i'm sure u won't... haha... cya soon...

below... is the pic... injected on my hand... to inject the fluid drop... damn... suffering on that for 1st 3 days.... haha...



thank u guys... juz can't thank u all enough...

Praying to Heal...
H.Ming (-__-)

like the story? haha... "borrow" it from a gd fren of mine... got permission one of coz... =)

anyway... i'll going for surgery tomolo le... morning 7am... 1st member on the list... hahaha...
not sure how long i'll be hospitalize... hope it won't be long time... haha... confirm boring @ hospital.... if u're boring... can also come look for me loh... i confirm can keep u company too... hahaha...but call/sms me before u come k? looking forward to see u there, but dun look forward in seeing me in a gd state... i confirm in pain de... they roughly brief me after the ops... will have pain throughout the nite... haha.... see ya guys there...

"To Jesus, God... i pray... to gif me te strength... the might... the courage...to fight this battle... to win this battle...bless my family and relatives.... frens... and love one..."

crying and praying...
HM(-__-)

Let me share with you a story i heard:
A long time ago, there was a scholar who was very heartbroken cos the girl he loves very much was getting married to another man..

He was very sad that he lost all his hopes in life,

Suddenly, a monk walked up to him and passed him a mirror and asked him to looked into the mirror,
So he looked into the mirror...

In the mirror, he saw a dead girl and he was wondering who the girl was...
When a man appeared and saw the dead body, he do nothing and walked away.

After a while, a second man appeared and he saw the dead body and this man took off his clothes to cover the girl's body then he walked off.

Then a third man appeared and he saw the dead body and this man dug a hole and buried the girl.

The scholar doesn't understand what the whole thing was all about, so the monk told him that actually the dead girl was actually his girlfriend in her previous life, he was the second man who covered her up and now she was back to return him a gratitude she had for him, but the one she would married to, was actually the one who bury her.

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Any one of you understand the story?
In our life, we always thought we are the third person but maybe we are only the second one after all.
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Sometime in a relationship, maybe our love are not strong enough to hold us forever.

" God never leave you Empty, he will Replace everything you have lost. if he asks u to put something Down, its because He wants you to pick something Greater. Good Day. Smile God loves you. "

JeNny... thank u so so much ~!


PRayIng HArD...
H.Ming (-__-)

today's 23rd July... 8 days more... to surgery...
as news were spread ard my family and relatives... h.phone rang... asking wad happen... how am i...
when's the operation... time.... "i'll be there on the day..."

To mY relatives... to the ppl @ Church of Praise... Uncle Joe... really really thank u~!! I lUv u All...!! thank u SO mUch for the cONceRn to Me and my family ~!!! Pls Don't worry about me... pls help to worry my parents... they're are the ones... who's the most worried... no matter how i console them... talk to them... they still can't be relax a little bit... i knw they're are my parents... but they still need to face the problem... not running away... not taking so much time to face it... it'll affect their health... as they're ard nt in gd health ever since...

on the day on the surgery... once i'm in... being put to slp... during tat time... if u're coming down... pls help to console my parents? cause... wad they need is to relax themselves, let them knw... i'll be fine... things will be ok...

overall... i'm the one whose gonna stressed out... before and after the surgery... see my parents so worried... even i'm also worry tat they can't take it when i enter the surgery rm... after the surgery... confirm will see their worried looks... i'm not complaining lehz... juz tat... they need to cool themselve down tat's all....! haiz... talk is easy... when comes to doing it...? damn... u feel the challenge there....

really need some help here... too stress to handle...

crying and praying for help...
HM (-__-)

31st of July... will be the day i'll be pushed into a surgery rm...
everything's on preparation.... i dun worry for myself...
i'm juz worry about my parents once i fall aslp inside...
when i'm in there... i'm not praying for myself... i'm praying for my parents... not to be so worry...
Mom cried... Dad's worried... my aunts worried... uncles worried... grandpa worried... still keeping frm my grandma... dun wanna gif her the pressure... cause she's very old le...

rite now... i need a companion, my other half.... a person... to gif me a shoulder to lean on... to talk to... a person to care and concern for me... am i gifing a high expectation? but... tat's wad i wan frm a relationship... =)

will blog again once i'm out of hospital... anything msg me ya?
take care guys and ladies... =)
see u soon...

"To Jesus, God... i pray... to gif me te strength... the might... the courage...
to fight this battle... to win this battle...
bless my family and relatives.... frens... and love one..."

crying and praying...
HM(-__-)

EndUrINg Pain.... Day And NigHT....
GeTTinG MeNTally PRePArEd For OpeRatIon...
StayInG PosItIVe...

CrYInG FoR HelP...
H.Ming T___T

HapPy BirThday To Me.....

CrYinG For HelPz....
H.MinG (T__T)

well... it's the 5th of July, went for medical appt. yesterday afternoon... regarding my back... and told the doctor about my case... he examined... check my left leg... my back... and the finally conclusion from is... he suggested tat... i should go for a surgery... as he say... " it's not u make it worst... it juz starting to develop... and getting to a bad situation... if u dun wanna go for operation, the other option for u is to jab ur back wif steriod... to relieve pain and the swelling... but... tat's juz for temporary... and the best option is operation... "

hear liao... knn... how am i gonna tell tat to my parents sia...? the doc say tat... he will refer me to a spine surgeon... the spine surgeon will give me a better ans and a better explanation... and tell me tat... to get my parents/relatives there... to get a 1st hand news from the spine surgeon... so... i called up my aunt instead of my mum... cause my mum sure nag non-stop onez... haha... then further more... i duno how to explain to my parents too... -.-" "
so.... lucky... my aunt is free on the 14th July... tat's a Friday... and... we shall see if there's a need for surgery...

rite now... the numbness of my toes are spreading... now... it's spread to the area juz beneath the toes... everytime i wear my shoe or boots... the numbness is always there... haiz... sianz.... doc says... if there's more numbness... more weakness or more unbearable pain on ur leg... PLS REPORT STRAIGHT TO A&E department....!!! cause it's serious...
i dun wish to report... and HOPEFULLY i dun~!!! cause... birthday's coming... this saturday 8th July... but on friday... i'll juz hang out @ Obar... dun get drunk... hopefully my frens will be there cause i only inform Steven and Moon (my da ge and da jie) to join me there... and hope it will be a gd and enjoyable one.... anyone whose going down on friday nite... come'on down if u can... hope to see u there ~!!!

crying for help...
H.Ming (T__T)

anyway... here's the fixtures for my games... as for other clubs playing... juz sms me or msg me ba... i'll let u knw... the worst thing is!!! knn... i have to play on my birthday(8th July) somemore... super sux...

4th July - Siglap vs Tagawa - 730pm
8th July - Tagawa vs Yuhua RC 2 - 730pm
15th July - Tungsan vs Tagawa - 845pm

Crying for Help...
H.Ming (T___T)

haiz... sianz lehz... didn't get to contribute much for the Yuhua Cup... super sux man... after the 1st game against Eng Tat Hornets... go home then go fren house watch world cup... and a few days later... i can't feel my left toes... i'm so frighten... few days laters.. i can feel it again. now... i can't exert too much strength on my whole left leg... can't even walk a short distance... after walking a short distance... the pain of my left leg was so intense... it's not the muscle pain... it's the nerve tat cause the whole thing... it's so painful tat it almost make me cry... can't have a gd slp... can't have a gd relaxation... see chinese doc, getting the treatment also can't help much... i'll be going to see another doc tomolo nite... tat's my only last hope le... haiz... keep thinking back... why am i the one who suffer the most during the competition... injuries everywhere... juz can't be injury free... this makes me wanting to give up playing competitive... feeling so low now... so lost... duno wad muz i do... My dream of getting into the national team... is getting further and further away from me... i'm really not sure if i can still play competitive again wif my injury... i'm really afraid... so afraid... really wish there's a miracle doctor to heal up back injury... -.-" " ... haiz... i'm thinking too much le... there's no such thing in life...

Crying for Help...
H.Ming (T___T)

Uncle Yam ~!!!!

Thank U ~!!! For KeepIng my JerSey and WasHinG It FOr mE ~!!!!
THANk U tHAnk u~!!!
i'm ReallY Not In Gd @ WorDs... i Can OnlY SaY...

THANK U~!!! MISS U ALWAYS ~!!!
R.I.P UNCLE YAM

even since i'm out of the national team training squad... going out wif frens for gathering... playing bball etc... etc...
i personally felt tat... our distance... are getting further... maybe i'm thinking too much... or... it's juz tat... it's a long time since i hang out wif them... i'm feeling so so far apart from them... things among them also happened... yet i duno wad it is... i still have to ask one by one... wad's going on... wad's happen now... ever since the Yew Tee Cup has finished... ytcc has been so quiet... it's like dead... only less then 10 ppl came down today... play until 830pm then pack up go home liao...

received news from jiaren and yunyun... uncle Yam has passed away today... i felt very sad... duno wad to say... juz... very sad... very sad...

SIgn off...
HM(T___T)

so Sad... AftEr LaSt ThUrsDAy NaTIonaL TraInINg, The "ang Mo" CoaCH SayS tat... i DiDn'T MakE it TO thE FinaL 18 PpL in THe SQuaD... hEaRd LiaO... SI bEI LosT... SupEr Low MOrAle... OtheRs Juz DoiNG tHEir WaRM-dOwn, WHilE I juZ UnTiEd My ShoElaCE... Go StraiGht To THe BAtHRm, TooK A SHowER And WEnT HomE... i'Ve BeEN TraIniNG WIf THem SIncE LaST DeCEmbEr... ThE fEElinG's LIke... All EfForTs Juz WenT DowN To tHe DRaIn... Juz An INsTaNt... So SaD... Juz Can'T BeLiEve I din EveN mAke It in THe FinAl 18... Now i THink I Can'T EveN ApPly For POly liao... EveRYThinG Juz TurN Out So SO BaD... WaY Off The CHaRts... NotHing'S Gd EvEr SIncE thE STaRT oF The Mth Of JUne... HaiZ....

It'S BeEn AbouT A WeEk SIncE i Got "kicked OuT"... -.-" " " GoiNG HomE... WaTCh Tv... Then GO jogGIng... TakE A WAlk OUtSidE... noW I kNw life'S So BOrinG WhEn u'Re noT WorKing HArD For SomeTHing... TOtaLly No AChieVEmeNt... No MOtIVaTion... eVERyTHinG SeeMS So lOSt TO me... I NeveR FeLT likE ThiS BEFOrE... it's SO WEirD... LIkE... I dunO WaD To Do NExT... For Now... Juz HavE to TakE 1 Step @ a TImE... aNd SLowlY FInd My Way BAck... And HopE To GeT BAck TO thE NatIonal TraIL AGaIn... Ppl TolD me... I'm Still YounG... YEsh... I'm Still YounG... But... Do I GeT a 2nD ChAnCe? 3Rd ChaNCe...? We"ll See How... I'll FigHT BaCk... Juz U WaiT...

No MaTtER How HArD i TrY... HoW HArD i WOrK... hoW HarD I FigHT foR iT... I sTill Didn'T AChiEvE it... BUt... I'm Still BEinG MesmErized By The DreAM i WanA MakE iT ComE TrUE... Jia You...

SIgn OfF..
HM(T____T) CounTinG DoWn TO 8Th JulY...

TaKE CaRE...
MiSs Ya All...

CounTing DowN to 26th JUne... To MY 1 Yr NatIonal SerVIce... MOst Of my SenIorS in mY UniT HaS ORD lo... TIme PAsS SO QUicKly... To All My SeniORs... Gd LUck...!! All THe BEst ~!!!
anD CountINg DowN to 8th JulY... HahaHA... StiLL LonG... But... VerY FaST de LAz... Well... I didn'T MAkE it TO thE NAtiONal Main SQuAd... SO anGry ANd SaD... WHen THe NAmeLIst WAs NamEd OUt... DOesn'T HavE my NAme... feEl LIke CrYinG... Haiz... SI bEI SiaNZ... MoRAle Is TOtaLLy Way BEloW mEAsUreMENt... The AusTriaLIa CoaCH SaYS... i NEeD to Do MORe PHysICal CONdiTIoninG... Haha... "not FiT" ENougH... THen... OFf To THe GyM le... And Des Told Me i'm In The 18 PLayeRs NamELisT... Haiz... DIn't ExpECt TO bE in THe 18 SOmemORE... HahaA... diDn'T WenT To TraINinG SincE MonDay... DuE To NITe DUtY... and Didn'T TOUch BAll SInce SatuRday... caUse I SpraINEd My AnklE On fRIday's YT Cup... AnD LosT SomeMORe... Haiz... my lASt PAss... CauSe tHe WHolE ThinG Sia... SHijiE And I misCOmmUnicaTe... He SHow Me a "3" siGn... i THougHt It lEft 3secs... So I PAsS the BAll Out To Him... THougHt He'll Run TO 180 DegRees tHEn ShooT the 3poInt... buT didN'T ExPECt he was WAitIng fOR me @ 45DegRees... diaOz... Si BEi lOSt FORm Sia... ReallY LosT FoRm... Now my AnklE's Not FUllY REcOvEreD... HavE TO AtTEnd The TraINiNG TOnitE... Well... Juz SeE How IT gOEs Ba... I'm Tired AnD SupER MorALE Low...

SigNing OfF...
HM(T___T)

22 more days to my 1 yr NS service... 34 more days to my Day... time really flies...
Now ANd THeN... SO muCH THinGs HaD HapPen... YeT i Dun WiSH To TypE It OUt... Juz ThinK TaT... i'vE to SwOllOW DowN On MY OwN... EveN if I'm GonNa CrY... I'll Juz HidE In A CoRneR anD CrY QuieTly... Now MorE cOmmITmeNT... MorE ChallENgES... aRe On THe WaY... I MaYbE ReAdy... But... Will I WIn oR SUcCeSs In THe ChallENge... Time... Will TeLL...

HM(T___T)
TaKE CaREz...