It hurts... It really hurts...

this mth of August... was the worst ever... can't cope with sch work, car accident... phone got stolen...
wanna end this mth quickly... seriously... T_T

u're not the only one who's upset when u think about it... Till now I still wish we're still together... Loving each other... But think u don't wanna get back together again...

rushing lab report... not knowing gonna submit on Friday... gonna stay up the whole night to finish and don't even know where to start...

next Thursday is re-exam of 'A' Maths... haven't even started studying... so many to revise...

I've failed all my Biology Semester Test... lowest in class... feel so fucking pathetic...

at this rate... should i even carry on to study????

as for work... so what if i got promoted??? pay now... $1480... big deal... what's worst? no yearly increment... 6mths since the Giant Panda Project Interview... till now still no news yet! Can i hang on?? give me a hint personally...!!! rumors are bullshit...!!! i need news from management!!! at least i know there's something for me to hang on to!!!

life's so screwed up... totally screwed up...

got into car accident... on saturday... dun wanna talk about how it happen... parents know about it... gotten angry... blaming & insisting that i talk on the phone while driving... I DIDN'T!!!!! till now still nagging all over... i'm so sick and tired of it... didnt slp for the past 2 nights... kept having the images in my head... really need to find a place to hang out at till late night, make sure they slp first before i step into the house... to save myself from the nagging...

happen to saw baby's twitter status on my phone this morning, she fainted at home ytd morning... saying she's fine now... so relief she's doing fine now... heartbeat pumped freaking fast... then saw her another status... sayin "u were not there when i needed u, i'm really disappointed and upset... i was all alone... =(((" who's she refering to? guess she already with someone else... no matter how hard i tried to give her my all, the attention, care & concern... i won't be able to have her back by my side...

i miss u... gd nights...

Had a car accident last night... A sway thing to happen... Hit onto a 'P' plate driver somemore... what's worst... when I parked to one side... Police drove pass and stop... Knn... Can't be even more sway... -_- now no car to drive... Suck... Can't travel everywhere... Went to see doctor 5am in the morning, couldn't slp at all...

Baby's attending the serve beer and mingle event at chong pang camp, saying that it's a small 4hr events. And she needs the quick cash, telling me she will be fine, as she know the ppl there. I dun like her doing this serve beer and mingle, cause I couldn't stand guys "hugging" taking photos, or drink beer as she couldn't hold the beer that well. Guess that's part of the job? Makes me worried very much, doesn't mean u know the ppl means nth will happen... But in the end, she needs this job to get the quick cash. Hope she let me know she's doing fine, I can send her back even though I had no car, but at least when I sent her home, knowing she reach home safe & sound.

Miss ya. =)

Time to start work... Will blog again ltr tonight... Gd morning...

Got a letter from my curator ytd afternoon... Saying i got promoted... But... I'm not happy about it... Not looking forward to it either...

Aug 19th... Re-test for 'A' Maths... Aug 11th... Biology Semester Test... How to study...?! Really duno how... At least... Thankfully... Off season...

I've failed my 'A' Maths module... Gonna go for re-sit... Failed by 3marks... So frustrating... Struggling on my Biology module as well, as I don't have a gd background on basic science... Working also very physically tired as well, thankfully it's off season at the moment... At this current situation... Not too sure if I shld quit sch, it's so tiring & hard to management... Really scare I can't cope... It's hard... But I have to keep trying... Keep pushing...

If everything's change...
Remember me...
How did I fall in love with u...

It hurts so much... That every time my heart beats... It gave a sinking feeling...
Everything I do... Reminds me of u...

I miss u...

:'(

Congratulation to Baby, got promoted to manager. Keep it up, jia you, :) love & misses...

Why shld I care & concern for her...
Why shld I worried for her...
Why shld I feel like jealous or something else...
Why shld I?

Ans is because I still love her so much...

:''(

I hate to see when u're together with somebody else, cause it hurts. But I hate it even more and hurts so much, knowing u're unhappy and tired when we're together... :'(

Thinking of u in the day... Dreaming of u at night... Hmmm...

wanna...

I wanna hug & tell u, I miss u & love u so so much.

Even I told ya this... guess it won't change anything... As ur heart is somewhere else... :'(

oh my god...

27th May, u decided to take a step back, I'm okay.
10th June, u asked me why we broke that day, because of different in character and barriers between us, and between this time, I still give u my attention whenever u msg me, and u told me that ya got closer with W.Jian?! That break my heart instantly. Since u think he's better then how I'm treating... I'm happy for u as u found a better man.
22nd June, for the first we skype, chat on msn... U called me Baby... U ended the conversation by saying "I love u"... I was like... Blurred... What do u want now?? Can u tell me?

It hurts... But what does it means? Because it's over? Or I just couldn't bare to let her go? What can I do to improve myself to make this relationship better? This question was always on my mind...thinking of her all the time, wondering if she's thinking of me too......

:'(

:'(

:'(

tired...

I'm so tired... Just wanna... Sit down at one corner... Close my eyes... Rest... Don't ever wish to wake up...